Ether and Lies

imageWhen I was about five,  I began having one bad sore throat after another.  My parents took me to the doctor, who would give me a shot and then I’d get better.  For awhile.

Finally, the doctor said my tonsils would have to come out.

I was very curious about all this, of course. What did “come out” mean?  How did the doctor do that?  Would I be awake?  Would it hurt?

Ok.  Here’s where it all begins.  The Big Lie. This is how they get people to buy lotto tickets.  Or suicide bombers to push the button.  The Big Lie is the whopper that closes the deal.  Money, multiple virgins, and, in my case, ice cream.  All I wanted.

So the tonsils were removed after they gave me ether.  What no one told me in the rush to Mount Ice Cream was that ether is the greatest emetic ever.  I woke up puking, spent the next three days puking, and even today the mere mention of the word ether makes me queasy.

There was no ice cream.  I learned the lesson that, despite a ton of shit, there very well may be no pony.

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8 thoughts on “Ether and Lies

  1. I was 20 when I had my tonsils out, so I thought I knew what to expect. But I didn’t. I got strep throat on top of the incisions. Talk about sick… It was the worst and last sore throat I’ve ever had.

  2. Somehow, I managed to keep my tonsils. I remember telling my parents when I was a kid, “At no time will the tonsils leave the body,” like I was performing a magic act. Just lucky, I guess. I made up for it with a complete hysterectomy when I was 50.

  3. I was also only two years old and all I remember was being really mad when my parents left me in the hospital…..they did come back- but no memory of icecream…

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